


letters from me to you

by uwusooshu



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mimin - Freeform, Romance, YuYeon, sooshu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27562927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwusooshu/pseuds/uwusooshu
Summary: Shuhua comes back to Seoul after the breakup with Soojin and decides to write some letters to her.
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	1. coming back

Seoul. The place where Shuhua first fell in _love_. In all honesty, she doesn't really know why she came back after all these years, did she miss it? She left for a reason after all and there was nothing for her to make her stay in Seoul, especially not _her_. She takes a walk down her favorite street and sees the cafe that brought back many memories, and yet somehow the cafe still felt familiar to her. Back then the cafe was her safe place, where she could hide from distractions and not worry about things she doesn't have control of. But in this moment, it felt strange being in front of it, was this the right decision being back here, in Seoul.

The cafe meant a lot to Shuhua, and it was a kind of special place to her as she first stepped foot in the cafe when she was just a young, innocent student that just didn't know better and just drank coffee to keep her going throughout the day even though she didn't particularly like coffee. And yet here she is at the cafe, sipping her ice americano, it was still the taste she remembers. She takes out her notebook, scribbling here and there, and wonders, _are you living okay without me_?

─────

Gyeonggi-do has always been home to Soojin, ever since she was born there. However, she moved to Seoul when she decided that she was going to go down the path of dancing. Soojin loved to dance, after all she wanted to pursue a career in it, but she never thought she'd meet the people in her life due to dancing. Ever since she was little she was shy, _"the quiet kid"_ , not knowing how to make the first conversation with people as she was always worried that she would embarrass herself through her words so she didn't talk to many people that she didn't know. Since it was hard for her to express her emotions through words, she expressed them through dance.

Dance was very special to her, it was her language, it was something that made her feel herself, a way that she could escape from reality. Her parents were supportive of the path she took and they were proud of her, for achieving her dream and breaking out of her shell. When she arrived at Seoul for the first time, it was unfamiliar, but she met _her_ here, the one who changed everything in her world. But today she is dancing on the stage, where she belongs, but she can't help but regret, and think about her, as she is _no longer_ a part of her **world**.

─────

Back in the cafe, Shuhua writes a letter, one in which she will probably never send, but she can't help but write it as her emotions spill out onto the pages _"from me to you"_.

Dear _Soojin_ ,

I've finally moved back to Seoul. Everything feels a bit weird, but sort of nostalgic. I haven't told you or the others that I'm back yet, I guess I'm scared of how you will react? I mean after all we both got hurt in the end. How are you? How have you been? You probably are doing fine without me, have you finally become the dancer you always wanted to be? So many questions that will probably remain unanswered in this letter for you that will probably never reach you. I know this letter is quite weird and sudden but I just can't seem to not think about you when I arrived. It's weird I thought I had moved on from you, from us but I don't know, I don't know anything anymore.

I just hope you're **happy**. 

From

someone you used to love,

_Shushu_

_─────_

Shu [1:20 pm]

Woogs :P

< _image sent_ >

Yuqiqi [1:22 pm]

YOU'RE BACK??!?!?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL US???

Shu [1:23 pm]

uhhh surprise?

Yuqiqi [1:24 pm]

Is that really all you have to say!?

Shu [1:24 pm]

I mean I was actually not going to tell anyone that I was back but yes

Yuqiqi [1:25 pm]

So no one else knows?

Not even her ?

Shu [1:26 pm]

I don't even talk to her anymore

Anyways, how is everyone doing?

Yuqiqi [1:27 pm]

They are doing alright, I mean Soyeon keeps working too hard :( and mimin are just so busy nowadays

Shu [1:29 pm]

That's the Soyeon I know 😂

I'm probably going to show up at mimins house randomly to surprise them

Try and keep this a secret for once 😂😂

Yuqiqi [1:30 pm]

I'm the best at keeping secrets, what are you on about

Shu [1:31 pm]

Whatever you say woogs

See you soon :P

Yuqiqi [1:31 pm]

Bye shuu 👋

I missed you

Shu [1:31 pm]

I missed you too 👋

─────

  
  
_[ring..][ring..]_  
  
 _"Soyeon-ah"_  
  
 _"Hmm? I'm right here woogs what's up?"_  
  
 _"It's going to be a mess"_  
  
 _"What is? Are you okay? Do you need me?"_  
  
 _"Come home"_  
  
 _"Okay, I'll be there as quick as I can."_  
  
That was strange, Soyeon thought. She quickly packed up and walked home. When she walked through the door, she saw Yuqi spaced out on the floor and when Yuqi saw her she just melted in her arms. Soyeon couldn't do anything but just hold her in the silence of their home.  
  


─────

_[Knock, Knock]_  
  
 _I guess this is it_ , Shuhua decides after much thinking, she knocks on their door. _It's been five years, I hope they missed me_

And when the door slams open, shock was apparent on the thai's face. She wasn't expecting _Shuhua_ , _**the Yeh Shuhua** ,_ her _bestfriend_ to be there when she opened the door. "Shu? You're back?"  
  
"I'm back **unnie.** "  
  
Minnie couldn't help but engulf Shuhua in a hug.  
  
"Minnie what's with all the noise.. _Shu?!?_ "  
  


─────

"So how have you been, I saw the pics of you in Taiwan. You looked happy." Miyeon says whilst she takes a seat on her sofa.

"Taiwan was fun, but I guessed I just missed you guys a bit."

Miyeon couldn't help but pinch the maknae's cheeks after her cuteness. "Does **Soojin** know you are back?" 

"Nope and I don't plan on telling her." _If only you weren't such a coward shuhua, maybe then everything would be okay._ Shuhua closes her eyes trying to distract herself from everything but her mind always goes to her. 

Minnie sensing the younger's discomfort with the talk about Soojin, slowly reaches over, and strokes her back trying her best to soothe her. 

"Sooo kimchi fried rice anyone?" Miyeon says quickly trying to get away from the conversation as she noticed the younger was lost deep in thought. 

Minnie pouts, shaking her head, upset "you _never_ cooked me kimchi fried rice, the 4 years we have been dating." 

Shuhua laughs, _so this is what I've missed._

This feels like **_home_ _._**

─────

After a day full of dancing, Soojin decided to go for a walk. It was one of her favourite things to do other than dance, when she went on walks it just cleared her mind of the things she was stressed about that day. She stumbles upon a bench and takes a seat, she just sat there, contemplating, did she make the right decision? She lets the thoughts in her head take over her and right there she just starts to break down, tears rolling down her face, trying to wipe them as they come down.

  
_Maybe it just **wasn’t** meant to be._


	2. to our happiness?

Soojin woke up feeling exhausted, she just felt so tired but not the tired you could just sleep away. she was mentally drained, till the point it wasn't healthy. She tried to distract herself, but it was just never enough. Times like this Shuhua was always there for her, but not anymore.  
  
Dragging her feet along the wooden floor, she tries to look for some food in the fridge but to much disappointment, it was empty. She used to love cooking, making sure the fridge was full with all sorts but now she has barely any energy as if she was just living for the sake of it. Even simple tasks became a chore, she was just so tired. She just needed a break, to heal so in the end she could be happy. 

She mumbles to herself, in the quiet of her kitchen, **_when did it go wrong?_**

─────  
  


_[Notification]_  
  
 **Jelly [8:36 am]**  
  
meet me at the cafe at 9?

  
**Soosoo [8:38 am]**

sure

─────

"You look like crap." Soyeon stated honestly, without any hesitation.   
  
Soojin sighs deeply, "Well thanks, I couldn't sleep." Her eyebrows crease as the tiredness was visible upon her face.  
  
"Thinking about her again? I mean is that even a question, of course you were."   
  
Her voice cracks a little, “I don't know how I haven't moved on. Still after all this time, I keep thinking about what went wrong.”

Soyeon pauses, taking a sip of her bitter coffee, you could practically hear the thoughts whirring through her mind. She cautiously thinks about her next words, “At the end of the day you both were hurt. Now that doesn’t mean that excuses the thoughtless words that were thrown at each other, nor does it excuse that you two were really happy with each other. It is really a difficult situation, there was rights and wrongs, but time will heal. I know you will be okay Soojin, it will be okay. “

Soojin closes her eyes, trying to stop tears from falling; after all it was still the _morning_. "It's just that, when the night falls, I remember me and her..” She takes a deep breath, “The way we used to be happy with each other and I miss it.. I miss being happy.. _happy?_ As if she was, questioning her own words. 

Seeing her best friend so broken really hurt Soyeon as she knew herself she couldn’t do much for Soojin but be there for her. She reaches out over the table to place her hand over Soojin’s and lets out a reassuring smile as if everything will be okay in the end. Maybe not now, but in the end.

─────

The crunch of the autumn leaves echoes, as the two best friends take a walk. “Yuqi, remember those swings.” Shuhua shouted out loud and pointed, if there was people at the park they would have stared at her, questioning her sanity at being so hyper in the morning.

“Yah. Yeh Shuhua! You pushed me off those swings before.” Yuqi yelled back just as loud.

Shuhua tried to hold back her laughter, but couldn’t, in the process hitting Yuqi’s shoulder with a huge force. As if nothing had changed, even though they have been apart from each other for a while.

“Ow..don’t hit me or I’ll tell Soyeon.” Yuqi stated with pure confidence.

Shuhua smirks,“Pfft- your saying that so confidently as if she doesn’t love me. Anyways let’s sit on those swings like the old times.”

Swinging gently on the swings, Yuqi grabs onto the ropes trying not to fall off, her thoughts start to get curious. “ Shuhua. What happens if you see her again?”

Shuhua looks up to the sky, as if she was looking for the answers to Yuqi’s question. After much thought, she mutters “If I saw her again, I'd honestly don't know how I'd feel.. Nowadays I normally don't think of her much, but there are times where she comes to mind and my heart does still flutter thinking about her.. “She pauses a little, taking some time to think, “but it doesn't mean I will still love her the same as I once did. What we were is now a part of the past and I will probably never love someone as much as I loved her.. But to answer your question, if she walked in front of us right now, I genuinely would not know what to feel..”

_There was silence._

She continues steadily, “Maybe it's because I gave my all in that relationship and it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. Maybe because that relationship hurt me more than anything before. I just don't know, if I saw her I'd probably have no words to say to her.. “  
  
“And I know what you’re thinking Yuqi, it might be sad, but life happens, things change. We move on and eventually become strangers as if she was not someone I used to _love_. “  
  
“I honestly wish that it was simple, simple to move on. I wish I could breathe and think normally without her ever coming to mind.. I just don't want to admit it, the fact that I still feel something for her even if I tried so hard to move on. I look so pathetic, still longing after someone who hurt me so much. Just why can't I seem to move on, I hate this so much.”   
  
Yuqi shocked at how mature Shuhua has become, seeing Shuhua rant, shows that this situation hurt her so much even more than Yuqi thought. She doesn’t know what to say for a while, but manages to say, “ I’m here for you Shu, always." Reaching out her hand to Shuhua’s, and giving it a comforting squeeze.

─────

Shuhua struggles to open the door of her home, but when she does she just collapses on the floor, tired. She lies against the wall, letting her thoughts run all over her, in the silence. She grabs her pen and some paper and writes, speaking out her complicated thoughts on the paper.

Dear Soojin,

Sometimes I wonder, do I really want to fall in love again, with someone else? If I was truthful, I don’t know if I have the capacity to love someone else. You were a huge part of my life whether I want to admit it or not. I really loved you. That has me thinking though, did I ever love myself? I mean I loved you and cared about you, but did I ever think about myself. This reminds me of what my grandmother used to say, you have to learn to love yourself before you ever love anyone else. But instead, I really just loved you too much, all my energy was put into you and I’m not saying this is a bad thing, I just wish I left some love for myself. You know I never regretted loving you, even if it did turn out like this. There’s so much left that I have to say to you and I still miss you a bit, even if I try to pretend I don’t.

Should I reach out to you? Am I even ready to see you again, I genuinely don’t know. I’m scared. I guess I’m sorry I loved you, it must have been too burdensome for you. I miss you but I can't do anything about it. I can't just text you or call you, asking to see you again because if I do I'm constantly reminded of the fact that you no longer needed me, that hurt the most.

Till the day, we meet again and we will both have smiles looking at each other. I will wait, for us both to heal our scars.

**To _our_ happiness _._**

**_~Shu_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update :( , I was actually supposed to update last week but my mental health kept getting the better of me. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and comments are appreciated :) 
> 
> ps. sooshu will meet for the first time soon so don't worry but for now they can be angsty


End file.
